ArcaMax

A job like yours? It's like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. It hurts like heck when you're doing it, but it feels so good when you stop.

But what happens if you can't stop? What happens when you are way too into your job or your job is way too into you? What happens if you're expected to be available 24/7, leaving you working long after office hours end, even if you started work long before office hours begin?

The solution to this problem is to unplug. Instantly, the hammering will stop, and you'll feel better.

Unfortunately, your boss won't feel better. To put it in terms that everyone binge-watching "Severance" will understand, if the person who is in charge of your "Innie" also wants to access your "Outie," you've got a problem. (If you're binge-watching "Severance," this is not your only problem. Better sign up for the Cartoon Channel, stat!)

If unplugging doesn't come easy, you're not alone. According to "Trouble Unplugging from Work? Join the Crowd," a Bob Sullivan article on CNBC.com, "nearly 1 in 5 people seem to have no ability at all to unplug from the office." As for the other 4 out of 5, few are making even a marginal unplug work.

Consider the CareerBuilder survey that shows 24% of knowledge workers check emails during activities with families and friends. So now you know why Uncle Steve never passes the mashed potatoes when you ask. Twenty-four is also the percent of people whose last thought before they go to bed is about work and "a full 42% say it's the first thing they think about when they wake up."

(Are the 42% like you and their first thought in the morning is "I'm so looking forward to going to work today?" I wouldn't bet on it.)

One major reason we can't unplug is technology. You can run, but you can't escape the endless flow of emails, texts and phone calls. And many workers don't want to run. "CareerBuilder found that 62% percent of workers say using late-night email is a choice rather than an obligation," Sullivan wrote.

Sure, it is -- in an economy that is beginning to fray around the edges, answering an email from your boss at 11 p.m. is a choice to keep your job.

While a nonstop work ethic may be good for your career, it is definitely bad for your health. An increased risk of heart disease, diabetes and depression has been reported in a study from the American Journal of Epidemiology. And no, it wasn't in the annual swimsuit issue.

Also, the nonstop work ethic can wreck your home life. If you are the kind of person who checks email while your partner is sharing the intimate details of their day, it's your relationship that might get unplugged. On the positive side, you won't miss the email from your partner's lawyer when they write to tell you the papers initiating divorce proceedings have been filed.

All of which brings us to the "value add" you've come to expect from Work Daze. If you want to keep your job, as well as your relationship, your health and your sanity, there are two options:

No. 1: Do your unplugging at work.

No question it is difficult to abandon your leisure pursuits. That souffle will surely flop if you run off to answer an email. That elk won't taxidermy itself while you check messages on Slack. But unplugging from that fourth quarter sales funnel report is easy-peasy. Concerned about your boss's reaction? Your willingness to work outside of the office will more than make up for the lack of work you do inside the office.

No. 2: Replace yourself with AI.

Your managers are chomping at the bit to replace you. Beat them to it with a chatbot of your own design. With a little training, the large language models that power today's AI systems can easily answer emails and texts, no matter what time they arrive. And with the same technology AI systems use to replicate celebrity voices, even phone calls can be answered with your unique voice and your unique blend of crabbiness, snarkiness and unrelenting negativity.

The next morning when you plug in at the office, you can resolve any mistakes your chatbot made, but I wouldn't worry about it. These systems are so smart they can do your job much better than you ever could. The only problem you may have is when your chatbot starts thinking of ways to unplug you.

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Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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