Job-Seeker Debates Opportunity Based On Location
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently managed to land a job after months of searching in this tough job market, and while I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunity, I'm struggling with the decision to take it. The job is exactly what I've been looking for in terms of compensation, responsibilities and career growth. It's the perfect fit on paper, and it feels like the kind of opportunity I've worked so hard for. The problem is that it's so far away from my family. My parents, grandparents and siblings mean the world to me, and we've always been close. I've never lived more than a few miles from them, and the thought of being hours away is absolutely crushing. I'm used to being able to drop by my parents' house for dinner, celebrate birthdays and holidays in person or just spend time together whenever I need the support of my family. This job would take that away from me, and I'm afraid of how the distance will affect our relationships. I feel torn. Do I take the job and risk feeling isolated from the people I love most, or do I stay closer to home and potentially miss out on advancing my career? -- Career Move
DEAR CAREER MOVE: Your family will love you no matter where you live. Yes, you will miss each other, but you should not turn down this opportunity because of distance. Think of it as an adventure: You can take the job, gain the experience and stay for a fixed amount of time. Nobody said you had to stay in this location forever. Make the most of it. Use technology to stay close to your family while you are away, and plan visits back home as often as you can. Similarly, invite them to come see you.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently brought up the idea to my fiance of having a small courthouse wedding instead of a big, traditional ceremony, but he said no immediately. He has a large network of friends and family with whom he is close, and he wants a big wedding to celebrate with everyone. I don't have nearly as many people to invite, and the thought of a large wedding has been making me anxious.
My side of the church would be almost empty compared to his, and I would be so embarrassed. My dad's family lives abroad, and I've never met most of them, so they wouldn't be attending. On my mom's side, we're not particularly close, and I haven't seen or spoken to many of them in years. It would feel almost awkward to reach out now and invite them to such an important day when we've been distant for so long. I do have a few close friends who will happily support me, but even then, it's not enough to fill the pews or match the turnout my fiance's side would bring. Is there a way to compromise so we can both feel good about the day, or am I being unreasonable for not wanting a big wedding? -- Wedding Size
DEAR WEDDING SIZE: I see two potential compromises: 1. Host a small wedding ceremony and a large reception, which is basically a big party. Have only family at the wedding. 2. Allow the big event, but have everyone sit mixed together, not separated by sides.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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