Customer Wants To Break Up With Hairstylist
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been going to the same hairstylist for years, and while she's always been kind and reliable, I've started to feel like her work just isn't what I want anymore. The haircuts and color never turn out quite right, and I find myself walking out of appointments feeling disappointed more often than not. I know I should probably just move on and find someone new, but there's one big problem: She goes to my church. It's not like I can just disappear and hope she doesn't notice. I see her almost every Sunday, and I know she'll eventually ask why I haven't been booking appointments. I don't want to lie, but I also don't want to hurt her feelings or make things awkward between us. She's a genuinely nice person and I respect her, but at the end of the day, I'm paying for a service that I no longer feel good about. How do I gracefully "break up" with my hairstylist without creating tension between us in what's supposed to be a place of worship? -- Awkward
DEAR AWKWARD: Your relationship with your hairstylist is often one of the most intimate ones that you have. They get to know you, and vice versa. You often share private details about your life, and, after all, they are touching your head.
When that bond goes sour, for whatever reason, it can be hard to part ways. If you can muster up the courage, tell her directly that you haven't been pleased with your hair for a while, and you are going to try another stylist. Assure her that it's not personal, but this is your decision. Then, when you see her in church, greet her warmly.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I need advice on how to set boundaries with my neighbor. She constantly asks me for favors, including giving her rides, picking up things from the store, watching her pets when she goes out of town and helping her with small errands. At first, I didn't mind because I believe in being a good neighbor, but over time, I've realized that this has become a one-sided relationship. She never offers to return the favor or help me when I need something, and she doesn't even seem to acknowledge how much she asks of me. The problem is, I don't want to create any awkwardness or bad blood. We live right next to each other, and I know I'll still have to see her regularly. I also worry that if I start saying no, she'll act offended or make me feel guilty. She is an older woman, so I don't want to be rude, but I also don't want to keep going out of my way for someone who clearly sees me as a convenient helper rather than an equal neighbor. How can I politely -- but firmly -- set boundaries? -- Drawing the Line
DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: If you can continue to help this woman, I say do so. She is an elder, and it is the human thing to do. That said, you can also say no when it doesn't work for you. Ask her pointedly to do things for you that you believe she can handle. If you work on making the relationship more equitable, it may improve.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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