Nolan Finley: O Canada, we don't really want you
Published in Op Eds
I've never had much luck with Canadians.
Years ago, I kept a boat at a marina on the Thames River outside of Windsor. I headed up there after work one evening with a buddy for a sail, and before I had even loosened the dock lines, he and an employee of the marina were bumping bellies over some slight committed by one or the other — I never could sort out which.
I got him out of there before what seemed would be a certain pummeling. But for the rest of the summer, I couldn't be certain my boat wasn't paying the price.
Another time, the newsroom went out for celebration at a club in Greektown for a colleague who was leaving the newspaper. When we arrived, there was a long line waiting to get in.
Some Canadian bikers pulled up and brazenly cut the line. Bob Ankeny, who spent years covering the courts and city hall, felt the need to notify them that "the end of the line is back here."
Seconds later, one of the bikers was holding up Bob by the ankles and pile driving his head into the sidewalk. He was still picking gravel out of his scalp three days later.
So, I'm wary of Donald Trump's obsession with making Canada America's 51st state. Aside from the obvious language barrier, I'm not sure it's a good fit.
First, it's absurd to think a first-world nation with a long and proud history would voluntarily forfeit its sovereignty to be absorbed into a neighbor that is in constant turmoil. What would be the advantage for Canadians?
And second, it's bad politics for America, particularly for Trump's Republican Party.
With a population of 41.6 million, Canada would enter the union as the largest state, just slightly ahead of California, at 39 million.
It could expect roughly the same representation in Congress as California, which, with 52 members, holds nearly 12% of the House seats. Canadian statehood would dilute the clout of every other state.
Perhaps more impactful, apportionment would give it a similar percentage of votes as California in the Electoral College.
While Canada has grown more conservative in recent years, it still leans decisively to the left by American standards. Those electoral votes would quite likely go to the Democrats, making it almost impossible for the GOP to win another presidential election.
A recent poll of Canadians conducted by the Environics Institute found Trump would lose the vote there by a landslide. In fact, 44% of Canadians said they favored Harris in the 2024 election, compared to 33% who supported Trump.
A strong strain of socialism runs through Canadian politics and policymaking. The new state of Canada would use its influence to push for more social welfare spending and an array of progressive policies.
Canadians are wide awake: the mayor of the Ontario town of Emo was recently fined $5,000 and his small community $10,000 for refusing to celebrate Gay Pride Month.
Also, the Canadians would bring their own family squabbles with them. The Quebec Separatist Movement still burns hot. It will only gain steam should the rest of Canada decide to join the U.S.
The biggest roadblock is that Americans don't want Canada and never have. As far back as 1867 a bill introduced in Congress to annex Canada never made it out of committee.
It won't this time, either, especially if the Canadians insist on bringing their dual language road signs with them. It's time to say arreter to this terrible Trump idea.
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