ArcaMax

Dear Eric: A few years ago, I noticed a change in a close friend of more than four decades. She is beloved, kind, supportive and generous and has been a great friend over the decades. Yet, she has become more strident in her opinions, almost to the point of bullying.

She wasn’t always like this. Her husband and I are the main recipients of ...Read more

Dear Eric: I sing as a volunteer in a church choir. Because I can sight-sing, was trained as a musician, and can sing alto, the music director likes it when I come.

For me, singing is "work", not "fun" but the music director is very nice, and the choir members are very warm and kind people.

What I don't enjoy is that one of the newer members ...Read more

Dear Eric: My partner and I just bought a house together and are settling in nicely. He and his ex were married for 10 years, and she was mentally and emotionally abusive toward him. It took a lot of strength for him to leave.

They do not have children, pets or any property together. It should have been a clean break; however, she still ...Read more

Dear Eric: During the process of our moving from a large house to an apartment in a retirement community, my daughter-in-law asked my son to leave their house. I had already arranged to give them many things, including my late daughter’s artwork, two antique Chinese wedding chests and a Turkish rug. I paid to have these things, as well as a ...Read more

Dear Readers: On Sept. 23, I published two letters from older adults experiencing loneliness (“Still Grieving” and “Wants a Connection”). I asked those of you who have successfully found connection at a later stage in life to write in.

And write in you did! I received so many wonderful letters, full of anecdotes and suggestions, that I�...Read more

Dear Eric: I am one of four siblings. I live close to but not with my 102-year-old mother while my siblings live far away. Over the past 12 years, I have gradually taken over a lot of her care, although she generally makes her own decisions and is financially secure. She is dependent on me for cooking, shopping, appointments and company.

After ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and I are hurt and disappointed in our two children, both adults in their 40s. We were predicted to be in the direct path of hurricane Helene in Georgia. She changed her path slightly to the east, and we didn't get the worst of the hurricane. However, we were hit with massive rain and extremely high winds. Also, we live in ...Read more

Dear Eric: This letter is probably best read after that first cup of morning coffee. My husband of 50-plus years has a habit of peeing outside, even though his office is equipped with its own bathroom.

His dad and uncle did the same thing, but they chose an old patch of ivy for their “offerings.”

My husband stands over beautiful ...Read more

Dear Eric: I have been in a wonderful relationship for a year now with a man who treats me like a queen, and we have plans to eventually get married. We happen to have a mutual friend, whom I have actually known for many more years than he has. The mutual friend is known by many as a toxic person who is also an egotistical bully, and I believe ...Read more

Dear Eric: My parents divorced when I was 5 and my brother was 3. He went with our father and I with our mother. We saw each other on holidays and summers. Both parents remarried and had two more children. There is a seven- to nine-year gap or more in our ages.

My brother and I were treated less like family and more like a resentment. ...Read more

Dear Eric: I divorced my wife after 25 years of marriage. After she went on some medication for depression, her personality changed, and she became unfaithful with a series of men.

I never told my three children (now adults, early 30s) about the affairs to protect their relationships with their mother.

Over the last five years, she has ...Read more

Dear Eric: I tend not to tell people they hurt my feelings because it seems rude to critique. I am now in a situation that seems like a deal breaker.

A few weeks ago, I had lunch with a person I consider to be a very good friend. This is someone I see a few times each month and with whom I have traveled.

My friend was very excited about a new ...Read more

Dear Eric: My dad has been married to my stepmom for more than 25 years. From the start of their relationship, it was clear that she didn't want to deal with two teen stepdaughters but tolerated us anyway.

She can be fun and is considered the life of the party. There is clearly favoritism toward her two sons and it's affecting the grandchildren...Read more

Dear Eric: Could you settle an argument? My husband has a friend and coworker who he has known for many years. I’ve met his wife a few times and although we are friendly, we’ve never done anything just the four of us.

My husband will hang out with his friend and has invited the couple to our home when I’m not home. On one occasion, they ...Read more

Dear Eric: For more than a decade I have worked in the administrative offices of a busy law firm. I am at least 20 years older than my three coworkers, all of whom joined the firm fresh out of college.

During my tenure, my colleagues have all married and started families. Owing to the rigors and responsibilities of parenthood and life in ...Read more

Dear Eric: My mother has been a widow for quite a few years now. Her days consist of watching TV. We took her on vacation with us once, but she wanted to just stay in the hotel and watch TV. She rarely sees friends or goes out. My siblings and I live about an hour away, have full-time jobs, spouses and children so going over to see her a few ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am feeling ignored by my family. I am an introvert, my wife is an extrovert, but I was a very involved dad when the kids were little. My wife and I worked full time, and we assumed 50/50 childcare responsibilities.

Since my retirement, I have been generous toward my adult children. My wife reaches out to our adult children, often ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am a 53-year-old widower who has been dating the same guy for more than a year. Fred is 56 and has been divorced for more than 10 years.

Three months after we started dating, he announced that the weekend trip we were planning on going on was off because he could not find a suitable sitter for his three cats. I told him that I was ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We both came out of long previous marriages (more than 20 years each). I have three adult children and he has two.

My husband is an only child and doesn't have a close relationship with his parents. My children’s father passed away suddenly three years ago and since then they have ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and I are in the middle age of life and have had a very happy marriage of almost 30 years.

He adeptly manages the household, and I support our family financially by running my own successful small business. But we have a significantly different view of what constitutes a “clean house”.

We were both raised by immigrant...Read more