Roommate Annoyed By Man's Nosiness
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a roommate who is incredibly nosy, and it's driving me crazy. He's always asking questions that are way too personal, and it's starting to make me uncomfortable in my own home. I try to be polite and friendly, but he doesn't seem to pick up on the fact that some things are just none of his business. For example, the other day he noticed some medication that I had left on the counter and asked me what it was for. I was caught off guard because I didn't think I should have to explain my private medical issues to anyone, let alone my roommate. I tried to dodge the question, but he kept pressing, and I eventually changed the subject just to get him to stop.
This isn't the first time something like this has happened. He's asked about my finances, my relationships and even my family, often in a way that feels more like prying than genuine curiosity. I'm all for having a friendly relationship with a roommate, but I feel like there should be boundaries, and he's consistently crossing them. How do I set boundaries with someone like this without turning it into a bigger issue than it needs to be? -- Crossing the Line
DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: As soon as you can move out, do. You shouldn't have to live with someone who does not respect your privacy. That said, you live with him now. Invest in a lockbox where you can put all of your important papers, medications and other personal items so that he cannot reach them under any circumstances. Put a lock on your bedroom door if you can.
Talk to him directly, and tell him you need to set clear house rules. These include everything from household chores to personal business. Let him know that your personal life is off limits. Ask him to stop the inquisition because you will no longer entertain the discussion. Then, simply don't respond when he goes into unwelcome territory. If you don't engage, he will stop talking to you ... eventually.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I are gearing up for retirement. We're very excited. We came to the United States 45 years ago and have been working tirelessly ever since. Retirement will feel different for us. I'm excited, of course, but still a bit nervous. We don't have any grandchildren yet, so we'll have to fill our time with hobbies. Do you have any tips for our new chapter? -- Anticipating Retirement
DEAR ANTICIPATING RETIREMENT: Before you retire, make a plan. What do you enjoy doing, individually and as a couple? What have you dreamed of doing but had no time to explore? Put these things on a bucket list. Do you want to stay living where you are now? Many retirees downsize and move to more temperate climates. Think through your options based on your budget, and make this next chapter a time of exploration together. It can be a lot of fun if you set that intention.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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