Life Advice
/Health
/ArcaMax
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Asking Eric: In grief, widow only wants to spend time with pets
Dear Eric: I am becoming aware of an increasing anxiety with my pets. Specifically, being separated from them. To briefly put this in perspective, I am recently widowed as of last August. My husband had been sick since 2019. I had no help, and he never took ownership of his own health. Needless to say, this was overwhelming for me.
Throughout ...Read more
Friend Upset By Man's Assumption Of Interest
DEAR HARRIETTE: A childhood friend of mine has been in a relationship for more than five years now. He and his partner live together and share a car, and he covers some of her expenses, etc. They are fully enthralled. But honestly, I get the sense that he was never truly fulfilled by his choice. He always tells their story as if things just sort...Read more
Mr. Jones, Mr. Smith, Mr. Adams -- And Judy
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I participate in a regular online exercise class, in which all the clients are veterans -- and mostly men. I am usually the only woman in the group. Participants generally sign on several minutes early to chitchat, and the host (a woman) greets everyone as she sees them.
My irritation is that she greets all the men as "Mr.," ...Read more
Sister's Wedding Is Stealing Our Bonding Time
Dear Annie: My sister, "Laura," and I have always been close, but ever since she got engaged, there's been a bit of a distance. She's constantly busy with wedding planning, and when we do talk, all she wants to discuss is flowers, seating charts or her bachelorette party. I'm happy for her, but at a certain point it feels like she has ...Read more
Man's Delusions Put Brother In A Difficult Spot
DEAR ABBY: My younger brother, "Paul," is 40 and in a rut. He became friends with a friend of mine, "Mitch," whom I met in college. Paul also became good friends with Mitch's wife, "Iris." After a year of close friendship, my brother made a pass at Mitch's wife during a BBQ. He was promptly asked to leave, and they have ceased contact with him. ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Writer’s envy prompts lashing out
Dear Eric: I have years of writing under my belt.
During a recent family visit, I spent a lot of time hearing about grown kids' accomplishments. I asked questions and was a good listener. At one point, my husband read a story he'd written, and the family praised his efforts to the moon.
Meanwhile, no one asked about my writing.
I suppose I ...Read more
Employee Wants To End Things With Co-Worker
DEAR HARRIETTE: I made the mistake of getting involved with a co-worker. At first it seemed really harmless to me because we were accustomed to hanging out socially (mostly in groups after work). When he asked me on a date, it felt like a natural progression. After a few dates, we progressed some more. Things started off as a fun and casual ...Read more
Helping Pay For The Wedding Without Insulting In-Laws
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son is engaged to a lovely young woman, whom my son's mother and I like a lot. The bride-to-be's father, a very nice man, announced that he would be paying for the wedding "as is tradition" in order to help the couple, as they are still just starting their careers.
I told him that it was generous of him to offer, but that ...Read more
Feeling Overlooked at Stepson's Wedding
Dear Annie: I recently attended my stepson's wedding. My husband and his ex-wife were announced as mother and father of the groom as they entered the wedding reception together.
His ex thought nothing of taking my husband's arm as they entered. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at our table by myself as this is happening. My husband and I have been ...Read more
Friendship With Co-Worker Fades As Aspirations Diverge
DEAR ABBY: I had a close friendship with a co-worker. We used to have lunch together and shared many personal and intimate stories. We were the two work newbies, even though I started six months before he did.
He has adapted well in the work environment, but I'm still struggling with different personalities and communication styles. Because he'...Read more
Single File: A New Language
You don't have to be single to be shy, but it's more likely when your way of life pushes you to meet new people and make entrances ... solo. That's why it's so important to learn the language of SMALL TALK. (It merits capitals because it's not so easy to learn.) Truth is it's a totally new language for those of us who never inherited the gift of...Read more
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Ask Anna: Dating in a world of bad news -- how to manage media overload for a clear mind and better love life
Dear Anna,
I’m a 29-year-old single woman, and lately, dating has become more stressful than exciting. Every day, I’m bombarded with news about global challenges — climate disasters, political unrest and economic uncertainties — which leaves me feeling anxious and overwhelmed. When I go on dates, I often find myself distracted and ...Read more
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Is dating harder than it used to be?
Online dating has come a long, long way since its inception (I’m looking at you Match.com… which came out in the mid-90s!).
The online dating sites have evolved significantly (Tinder, the first major app that you only use on your phone, launched in 2012), offering new features designed with the hope of improving people’s experiences and ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Domestic abuse survivor wants to keep son from dangerous patterns
Dear Eric: I stayed in an abusive marriage for too long, and for a wide variety of reasons, including that we needed my ex’s income and health insurance to cover chronic medical needs.
My now-adult son does not know the extent of the abuse in my marriage because I hid it. Regardless, he is three times more likely to become an abuser himself ...Read more
Girlfriend Compelled To Clean After Intimacy
DEAR HARRIETTE: Whenever my girlfriend and I are intimate, she showers immediately after. At first it was just her, but now she forces me to join her in a post-intercourse shower. In these showers, I've noticed that she scrubs relentlessly -- ferociously, even. It scares me a bit because I wonder what she's trying to get rid of or wash away. She...Read more
New Friendship On The Rocks After Shared Vacation
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Two years ago, I introduced my close, longtime friend, Nora, to Lauren, an acquaintance whose husband is my husband's boss. To my delight, they hit it off -- so much so that a few months ago, they decided to go on a three-week trip together.
The vacation was a disaster. The women fought constantly. As my close friend, Nora ...Read more
Playing It Safe vs. Living the Dream: Can You Have Both?
Dear Annie: My name is Jess, and I've always prided myself on being the "steady one." I have a good job as a marketing manager, a wonderful husband named "Fred," and a life that feels stable and predictable. On paper, everything looks perfect. But lately, I can't shake this persistent, nagging feeling that something is missing.
Growing up, my...Read more
Two Decades Have Not Healed Painful Breach In Relationship
DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago, I developed psychosis with a personality change. I did things I'm ashamed of. I had an affair, remarried and moved out of the country, leaving my 13-year-old daughter with my ex-husband. I snapped out of it 15 years ago with the help of a good psychiatrist and excellent medication. I deeply regret my behavior, and I ...Read more
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Asking Eric: Older couple only invited when gift is expected
Dear Eric: My spouse and I are an older couple with some family members who live in the same town as us and some family who live out of state.
The families who live near us only invite us to functions where a gift is needed, such as weddings and birthdays, etc.
We feel very sad about this since we spend many holidays alone. May I add that my ...Read more
Job-Seeker Debates Opportunity Based On Location
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently managed to land a job after months of searching in this tough job market, and while I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunity, I'm struggling with the decision to take it. The job is exactly what I've been looking for in terms of compensation, responsibilities and career growth. It's the perfect fit on paper, and it ...Read more